Over the Easter weekend while I was on vacation I decided to go see Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which has been hailed as one of this years most anticipated movies. Loosely based on Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, audience members were expecting to see a knock down drag out fight between Batman and Superman, with Batman’s famous line being said at sometime during the fight. What we got were 2 hours of choppy scenes and unnecessary nightmares.

The story is that Bruce Wayne (Batman) is mad at Superman (Clark Kent) for destroying the city and killing people who wored in his building. During the altercation from the first movie you see Bruce Wayne hop in a car and drive towards his building to make sure everyone gets out, the one person he is on the phone with doesn’t make it but he ends up saving a man who works somewhere in his building and young girl who’s mother worked in his building. A year and a half pass and hearings are taking place to see if they can charge Superman with anything, Lex Luthor is introduced and makes it his mission to bring a some Kryptonite that was found to his lab, Batman is going after people who may have any information on who is briging Kryptonite into Metropolis and Clark Kent wants to write about how bad Batman is. That’s how this whole thing is set up, and in my opinion the only person to have any real motive to not like anyone is Batman because Superman’s destruction killed people he knew.

Let’s talk about Lex Luthor for a little bit. It’s made mention that Lexcorp was his fathers and he inherited it, but what they do or how they stay in business is never mentioned or even talked about. For all we know all of their money is being burned trying to import Kryptonite. He tries to butter up the Senator, who is bringing charges against Superman, to let him import what was found on an island but get’s rejected. Lex Luthor not only gets Kryptonite by going behind her back, but he also get’s the body of Zaad and access to his ship from the first movie. Luthor keeps bringing up power and for some reason he thinks that if he kills Superman and takes control of Kryptonian technology he will be all powerful, this could be wrong or right because no one knows. Lex Luthor’s story is pretty much an ink blot test, everyone get’s to give their opinion on what really motivated him.

Bruce Wayne has one of the most clear cut objectives in the movie. He saw Superman take people he cared about, he knows Lex Luthor has taken something that can harm Kryptonians and now wants to steal it to make weapons and kill Superman. I guess this also takes place on another Earth, because Batman has no problem killing people who aren’t Superman. There isn’t much time spent in Gotham that isn’t his house or Batcave, but it’s never said that he is an enemy, but the first time a cop sees him he tries to kill him. We do get to see some detective work as he inputs hacks and trackers to gain information, but when the big fight with Superman happens he magically have a suit for it. We’re shown that he steals the Kryptonite from Lex Luthor after he smuggles it in and makes weapons out of it, but we never see him making a suit. I would have liked the montage of him working out removed and replaced with a montage of him getting the suit to the necessary specifications to fight Superman. Also, that famous line I mentioned is never spoken, so here it is

Clark…in all the years to come…in your most private moments…I want you to remember…my hand…at your throat…I want…you to remember…the one man who beat you.

Speaking of Clark Kent, let’s talk Superman.Instead of writing a piece on the local Football team for the Daily Planet, Kent is pre-occupied with charges that are trying to be brought against him and the Bat vigilante in Gotham city. Clark doesn’t know what Batman is doing, just that he is taking out bad guys and branding them. His first interaction of with Batman comes when he gets in the way of Batman trying to stop the smuggled in Kryptonite being transported to Lexcorp. Superman doesn’t even know what’s in the truck, yet he feels the need to stop Batman and then threaten him. Where I’m from, this is called being a bully. Superman bullies Batman and tells him not to answer the call when the Bat Signal is flashed, meaning that he has to ignore the cry for help even thought Superman flies to houses with a big white “S” on it to help. This is where I feel Superman is a hypocrite and, until the end has no valid reason to fight or stop Batman.

The third hero in this movie is Wonder Woman, who is called Ms. Prince once and never given a name any other time. She shows up at Lex events and it’s revealed that he has a photo of her that she wants back. The photo in question is black and white and it’s her with Chris Pine and a couple other guys, while she is in the full Wonder Woman costume. The photo looks of war times and I suppose she is afraid it might get out that she is pretty much immortal. With all the technology in the world, I’m sure she could just claim Photoshop and deny it. It’s never revealed what she does or how she gets her money, but she must be in some kind of position where this would hurt her. This is also the only thing that Lex Luthor has on her along with some surveillance footage of her at an ATM. She dawns her costume at the very end, and since she doesn’t wear glasses or a mask, the issue of an old photo shouldn’t be a big thing. We have photos of Nicholas Cage and Keanu Reeves look a likes from a long time ago and we all think it’s interesting.

The big fight really isn’t that much of a fight and every part you saw in the commercials was in the movie. Come to think of it, all the commercials put together pretty much show the entire fight sequence. The only thing it doesn’t show is Batman shooting Kryptonite, that he had turned into a gas, at Superman making him vulnerable. A few punches and kicks are exchanged and right when Batman is about to stab Superman with a Kryptonite spear, Superman calls out his mothers name which is also Batman’s mothers name. This isn’t new, the names have been there since the beginning of both characters. The mention of the name Martha gives Batman a conscience and after learning that Lex sent Superman to kill Batman or he would kill his mother, Batman decides to join and help by telling Superman that she won’t die. This was pretty quick turn around, and almost made me thin of The Simpsons where Marge goes to jail and Nelson makes fun of Bart about it. Replace a jailbird with named Martha and that’s the reasoning.

Nelson Muntz: Ha-ha! Your mom’s a jailbird!
Bart Simpson: So’s yours.
Nelson Muntz: Oh, yeah… let’s play!

Zaad being turned into Doomsday was pretty much called by the world after a few trailers hit. In the comics his skin has fragments of Kryptonite on it and that’s how he is able to hurt Superman, but in the movie Zaads body is used for his creation. After being birthed, Doomsday evolves and gets stronger when getting hit with power, but his final form has the same Kryptonite coming out of his body, so why was he still strong? Wonder Woman’s sword was able to slice through Doomsday’s legs, so is her sword Kryptonite or a stronger substance? His fight scene is what brought the three together, but it was Superman who used the same spear that Batman forged to kill him to kill Doomsday. This is where they decided to bring in The Death of Superman story and have Doomsday stab Superman in the heart while he stabbed Doomsday with the spear.

Lastly I want to bring up cameos from future Justice League members, which weren’t revealed subtly at all. After hacking Lexcorp’s network, Batman finds the files he needs along with other 4 folders equipped with their own logos and video footage. Wonder Woman get’s an email with the picture of her that she was looking for along with access to the other folders. The other folders are of Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg. I feel like these were just mini teaser trailers for movies starring them more than random surveillance footage. I’d like to point out that Aquaman has the same swim speed and sound that Superman has, except under water.

The movie was probably really good on paper, and the introductions were enough to satisfy the studio but probably not the audience paying the money to see it. The movie seemed to have been put in a food processor, because from scene to scene it was extremely choppy. If this is any indication on how the rest of the DC movies will be, then I feel like they may never retake Marvel with live action movies.

By Taylor

Taylor is one half of Media Discord and resides in Orange County, CA. He grew up loving video games, comics and movies. His favorite game is Chrono Trigger and his favorite comic book character is Deadpool.

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